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You could see this as a “wake-up call in your marriage to examine problems in the communication between the two of you and to address this.

Of course your husband should not blame you and he must take responsibility for how he has hurt you with his online behaviour, but the two of you must take responsibility for improving the marriage.

For example you can prioritise a daily talking time with your husband when you share how each of you are doing.

This should be time you have alone perhaps when the children are in bed and to make sure it is distraction free (with the computer and TV turned off).

There is a good chance of success for the two of you, if your husband accepts responsibility for what he has done and if the two of you are willing to work hard on improving your marriage.

Chatro has been restored after being down since Friday afternoon. A bad power supply that took out both the database and main website server. I had to go to the data center, pull the twin node server, bring it home, and test the power supply to find out that it was no good.AWith people spending more and more time online, accessing pornography and adult websites can be a big problem in modern marriages.Relationship counselling agencies report that a growing number of couples are now seeking help due to infidelity online or to one partner accessing adult websites.At the heart of the problem of online “infidelity” is the fact that it is usually done in secret and without the partner’s knowledge – even with infrequent access this secrecy can reduce the intimacy between the couple and can be a first step on the road to bigger betrayals.A second issue for a marriage is that one partner turns to the internet for flirting and sexual excitement rather than to their partner.In addition, try to have at least one special evening a week when you get a baby-sitter when you can do some new things together. The biggest prize of a successful marriage is closeness and intimacy – which allow a couple to accept and support one another on a deep level.Such intimacy is built on communication and friendship and leads to deep affection and a satisfying sex life.Then likeminded people join and you can talk about the things you love, or hate, or feel indifferent towards, whatever you like, you can talk about!ASK THE EXPERT: QI have been married 10 years and we have four children aged 9, 7, 6 and 4.You might benefit from going to counselling especially if you feel traumatised and need to the help of an impartial listener to process some of the feelings.To move forward, it is important that you continue to talk to your husband and try to understand the extent of his difficulties and what the underlying issues are for him.