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It is also important to realize that the commonly-held belief that in romantic relationships both partners always play a part will not always hold true in relationships where one of the partners has traits of borderline personality disorder.

Regardless of whether you brought your own issues to the relationship or not, the idealization and subsequent devaluation of your character would have arisen no matter how you conducted yourself once the level of closeness that triggered your ex’s rejection of you was reached.

Even though you may have been wrong about your ex having a personality disorder, you are not wrong about the damage you suffered from being in a relationship with her.

Because the behaviors of women with only a few traits of borderline personality disorder within a relationship are often the same as those who have the actual disorder, you may have suffered in a very similar way.

If your ex was reasonably functional in her life before she met you and these behaviors only occurred within your relationship, the chances are she does share some character traits with people who have the disorder.

But what you might not have known is that the woman you were dating probably started out in the relationship by idealizing you.The truth is, we all possess one or even a few character traits of various personality disorders.It is only when these traits are present in such a pronounced way that they actually impair the functionality of everyday living that they qualify for diagnosis.If you are like most men, your Internet searches landed you in the middle of a discussion about borderline personality disorder. You may also have read that this type of personality transformation is one of the telltale signs of borderline personality disorder.At that point you may have seen words on your computer screen that described in uncanny detail every negative behavior your ex engaged in after her Dr. There may have been an eye-opening wake-up moment of realizing that you finally had an explanation that made sense out of all of the confusing and painful behavior you experienced from your ex.So how do you recover from having been pulled deeply into love by your ex and then ripped out of it only to find yourself being hurt and in some cases even abused by the person who you had placed all your trust in?There are several components to recovery from a relationship with a woman who has traits of borderline personality disorder.You may have at first thought you must be the only one taken down by this crazy-making cycle of false accusations and endless circular arguments.But at some point you went on line just in case there was anyone else who had been through the same kind of emotional war zone.Whether it happened slowly or it was an overnight transformation, you probably eventually realized that the woman who was once in love with you had turned against you, and unless you fixed the problem, you were going to lose what you may have felt was the most important relationship of your life.You may at first have tried to ask her about her personality change only to hear from her that it was you who she thought had changed overnight.