Grieving is not linear and each stage may be felt at anytime until the final stage of acceptance is reached and maintained consistently.As a response to the initial shock, the protective method of denial comes to the fore to buffer the hurt.
When you go through a divorce it's like a death of love.We may even isolate ourselves from others to avoid the truth we do not want to face.As we get to a point where we can no longer deny the truth, but are not ready to feel our hurt, we use anger to mask the pain we do not want to feel.Anger may be directed at the loved one, at yourself or even at God, especially if your partner has died.In an attempt to make some semblance of being in control again we can bargain with ourselves, “if only I had been more loving”, or “If I hadn’t ignored him so much he wouldn’t have left me for someone else”, “maybe if I change she will take me back? This is our last line of defence before the dropping into the painful reality.Even if you're the one who initiated the divorce, you will still grieve.This is because you are not only mourning the loss of your marriage, you are also grieving the loss of your hopes and dreams — the belief of what you thought your life was going to look like.Breakups can leave the lovelorn rattled for weeks, months and sometimes even years. Grieving a relationship is not unlike grieving a death. After nights of forcing yourself out, you finally start to have fun.After one too many mediocre dates you finally have a good one.It is at this point that you are ready to build a new life for yourself. Even after accepting the divorce, you may still find yourself dealing with anger, blame, or guilt.However, your emotions get less intense as time goes on.